Failure and Success
Our family is really busy. I'm sure you can say that about yours as well! I am in a constant state of evaluation of what things are working and what things aren't for our household. And I'm also always feeling like a failure when it comes to certain things – like a chore system! Why is it that I feel so obligated to have a chore system that will work for us? I understand that my kids need to learn hard work and that the family life will run smoother if we are not always stumbling over stuff all over the place. I understand that they need to learn skills for when they are independent and I also understand that I just cannot do it all!
Yet, I haven't found a system that really works for us to be doing a certain amount of chores everyday. Basically, my kids know that they are to thoroughly clean their rooms before any other activities on Saturday morning. I also know I can ask each kid during the week to empty the dishwasher and it will get done. They are supposed to put all their backpacks away after school and empty any garbage from their lunch bags (VERY important to do!)
So I have been trying something new. Every Monday after supper we don't have any friends in the house and we just all pitch in and clean. We get a lot done and we all work together. It is the only night we don't have something going on. We also have a "family meeting" to sit and figure out anything that needs to be talked about and we also do a longer devotional.
I have also offered Rachel money to keep up with the laundry. That only felt like failure for about 10 minutes. Now it's sweet victory!!!
I know we don't have daily lists of who should clean the bathrooms which night and who sets the table and who sweeps etc. But even though my kids aren't crazy busy with sports, they do have music lessons (and of course practice) and many activities related to our church and service.
I am in love with the idea of a daily system that works. And because of that, I have let myself become defeated and feeling guilty. But not anymore. I will continue to evaluate the situation and what will work the best for us. I don't want to cheat the kids of any experience in learning skills. But I also don't want them missing out on opportunities for ministry because I am stressing that they didn't check off "empty garbage can" and 5 other things off their list for that day.
So for now, we'll try this new system of Monday nights. When it doesn't work anymore, we will adapt. In the meantime, it's Monday and time to get some stuff done! :) Thanks for listening to my vent!
Ps. If I could read the copyright on the image, I would give credit and a link. If you know who created the chart, please let me know and I'd be happy to add that info!
3 Responses 
Leave a Reply 
One of my coworkers called me a vacuum-aholic last week saying you are "always vacuuming" and "why do you vacuum so much?" I was genuinely puzzled as to how she possibly got that opinion of me since my vacuum comes out far less than it should.
Then I realized that vacuuming has been on my list for over a month and I'm constantly saying, "tonight is my night to vacuum" (and then forgetting to say the next day–"yet another night without vacuuming").
So, inspired by your blog, I'm going to get it out RIGHT now and finally get my vacuuming done.
Happy cleaning! Enjoy the time as a family. It's a precious gift. <3
Hey Sher. I feel ya. That chore system you gave us me to try worked great. Except there was always more to add or things didn't get done. Our kitchen is the biggest challenge. As a big family home all day I found it easier to switch to paper plates for lunch rather then constantly clean it. I find the biggest problem is me. I am not naturally an organized person and i put stuff down. I pick it up later, but my kids don't. So now I am going with trying to have my kids pick up after themselves. Sounds so basic. Well i realized with one person around it is not a big deal to leave stuff around and get to it later, but for a family of 7 it is a disaster. So no longer do we deep clean daily, but just pick up after ourselves and then all clean in depth once or twice a week. Sometimes our house looks great and sometimes not, but it works for us! Went to a mother daughter banquet today. They sang this song by point of grace that says its not what you did but its how you lived. We need to be enjoying our life and families not just a clean house!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_qQm8283qsg
I struggle with putting chores ahead of people! Buuuut, i have to keep some semblance of clean, as well. I think you are doing GREAT with the chores, Sherri!! Knowing that you can ask a kid to do something, and it will get done is HUGE. I'm not always that dependable! And a family cleaning/longer devotion/meeting night? What a GREAT idea!!!!
I think, as you said, it's what's working for you for right now, and when it doesn't you will adapt. I think you have it figured out "for now" – no long term figuring out needed!
That said, I grew up with some wonderful Christian neighbors who seemed to have it all regimented and "figured out" – I'm slowly learning that this is not my little family – but also that I should not be pressuring myself into being like that other family. To me, it sounds like you're doing GREAT!